Every organization has a leader, mission, and a set of values that drives the organization. But this is all missing in the most important organization in the world, the family!
An organization has one mission for how it will impact the world. Why not the family?
An organization has a set of standards that its employees can be guided by. Why not the family?
An organization goes into strategic planning to align its values, missions, and projects. Why not the family?
An organization has a specific and unique plan for how to grow and work together. Why not the family?
Families Start with Attraction
Opposites attract is a true statement, especially in marriage. But attraction is not the key to a long and happy marriage. It’s certainly a great start and something that is important to keep the flames burning, but it takes a lot more under the surface starting with values.
Values are the inner beauty…it’s what we stand for, it’s what we will die for, it is what we live for. These values are the filter to every decision we make, regardless of our individual and unique expressions.
Even when a couple may have external and visible differences, the values are the invisible force of unity.
Families Thrive with Aligned Values
Becoming united as one in holy matrimony doesn’t just start at the altar. The day of “I do” is just the first commitment to a longer journey of becoming STRONGER as one. Hard days happen, but it makes us stronger and molds us.
A strong marriage and an equally strong family typically have a value system that works best when the trials of life knock on the door. In addition, as these trials happen, our perspectives start to change, our values get magnified, and it’s there where we choose what is most important.
Family Legacy is Built with Love
For my family, our core values are faith, family, fitness, flexibility, and friends. That means that these attributes are the filter to the majority of our daily decisions and planning. Most importantly, these values are how we love each other as a family and free ourselves to love our neighbors and the broader community of friends.
To that end, our mantra as a family has always been, Let Love Grow. As my wife and I got into the world of foster care and adoption 10 years ago, we realized to open our doors to children in our home that would most likely come from a traumatized background, we had to let our love grow. This lesson is life is one that continues to teach us and mold us.
Bringing it all together is how we have developed our family mission statement: Let Love Grow by putting faith, family, fitness, flexibility, and friends first! This statement is posted around our home in various ways and is even included at the top of our family weekly planner. This is just our example and it’s unique to the Edwards family!
Values matter and we all have them. However, many of us aren’t living in alignment with our values. I discovered this in my own life at the mercy of going through extreme burnout over 4 years ago. The way I used to spend my time was not in line with my biggest priorities for the home or the person I wanted to be. But with pain, comes purpose and because of these experiences, I’m able to help families find their mission.
Family Missions Start with a Strategic Plan
Creating a mission statement starts with values. It doesn’t have to be a complicated process as there are many tools and resources all over the internet that can help you. But if you want to go deeper into a full lifestyle assessment and redesign, I encourage you to check out my workbook, Whose Home? In the workbook, I will take you through the 4 stages to find your family transformation.
Here is a quick overview here:
Retreat
Take the time to sit down, pray, and dream before outlining your family mission. I recommend going on a minimum of a 1-day planning retreat. If possible, make it a 2-day getaway to allow time to bond as a couple, enjoy some meals without talking shop (or kids), and decompress. It’s so important to come into the planning part of the retreat with an open mind.
Reflect
Put your focus on the object at hand, your family. In your retreat, ask deep questions of each other. Talk about your dreams, aspirations, what’s working and what’s not working, finances, goals, kids, date nights, careers…unpack it all! This is the heaviest portion of the process because it does require a lot of thought and assessment of the daily and weekly habits of the home.
Renew
The next part of the retreat is bubbling up everything from the reflection exercises spotlighting your main priorities and values. As mentioned earlier in this article, the values will set the groundwork for the mission statement.
Rebalance
When you know your why, you will know your way! The family mission is a unified purpose for the way the family does life. Once the family mission is in place along with the biggest priorities, it’s time to start planning. Outline your seasonal, weekly, and daily schedules to the best of your ability for the next year. Start with the big rocks with vacations, celebrations, and holidays. Coordinate schedules and go even further to schedule weekly meetings and quarterly retreats to stay on the same page and create accountability and excitement toward your goals…as a family.
The most important organization we can lead and serve is in the home. If you are inspired by this article and would like to apply this planning method to your family, consider buying Whose Home? A Strategic Planning Workbook to Protect Your Family Culture from the Rat Race.
