I lost the day and I knew it by 9:00 AM.
I woke up in a fog with extreme fatigue although I got 8+ hours of sleep. I should have reassessed at that point, but I kept going.
Because of sleeping longer than usual, a domino effect of things that I wanted to accomplish started to fall. My quiet time, workout, and morning shift in the office were all compromised.
Once I got to the office, I was immediately sidetracked by the error messages of my “productivity” apps and the resetting of my passwords. The irony is not lost that my pursuit of being more productive with these tools further led to an unproductive morning.
My attitude started to tank further as I watched all the things on my list go unchecked. I started to re-evaluate my entire day and week to make sure all would not be lost.
Frustrated by the thought of reframing my entire week, I took myself on a walk.
This walk of frustration started with my expression to God that I AM MAD! Not at God, but at myself and how I was letting my attitude further take me over the deep end of wanting to quit the day.
I asked God for help, to spark joy in me, to bring a better perspective, and as I got into the groove of the walk, the Holy Spirit started to comfort me.
I put in my earbuds and chose a podcast and there God spoke to me loud and clear as I listened to an interview with Allen Arnold, the author of “The Story of With: A Better Way to Live, Love & Create“.
This interview was exactly what I needed and why I am sharing my heart with you.
“I found myself being a slave to my own hustle.”
I desired to accomplish and be incredibly productive. I wanted to steward my time well.
I don’t believe I am alone in wanting to work hard and get things done. This isn’t necessarily wrong, it is the foundation of our waking hours.
However, in my tight grip on “things to do” to feel the validation of accomplishment, I had lost sight of what matters most…what does God have in store for me today? How am I stewarding His greater purposes? Are my to-do’s for God or WITH God?
Humbled by these questions and realizing I started the day without God, I pivoted. I worked on something completely different than what was planned starting with this article. I don’t know who it’s for, but I am sure God knows.
I released myself from the mental prison of building my own kingdom and chose the freedom to walk with God for the building of His kingdom. I chose the messy route, but it’s the transformative route in God’s view.
Yes, this day, and like all days, should be days of transformation.
How are we growing with God daily? How are we building up our eternal treasures? Is the validation we are seeking of our own, others, or of God?
Are we building enough space in our calendars to pivot and follow God somewhere else that wasn’t planned? Are we spending time serving our family and others instead of ourselves?
I can’t answer those questions for you, but I can share that being a good steward is being faithful to what God has called us to do, love God, and love others. And yes, work is also an expression of love!
Proverbs 19:21 has played out in my day today. “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”.
Though I lost my day, I gained God’s day and His loving way.
My encouragement is if you find your day in a similar predicament of building your own kingdom without God is to pause, pray, and pursue God’s voice.
It’s ok to have a plan, but hold it loosely every day!
If you find that your life or career is also indicative of a long series of days derailed because of overwhelm, endless to-do’s, and lost joy due to other people’s (or your own) expectations, consider pausing, praying, and pursuing God’s voice.
Reconnect with your passion and purpose, and take action to realign your lists and/or your life with God’s calling.
One final reminder is to find joy not only in what you do, but in who you are while you are working.
Here are a few resources that are great starting points to make a pivot:
