In January of 2020, my wife and I decided we would escape on a 2-week international vacation without kids to celebrate her birthday. Having experienced similar trips as a couple for the last 15 years, we were pretty stoked at the opportunity to celebrate this milestone together. We planned, organized, and prepped with so much anticipation as the dates drew closer and closer. THEN, the pandemic happened, the world shut down, and our epic international “when” of 2020 never happened. Unfortunately, I don’t think we were alone in the disappointment.
Human anticipation is natural and it builds excitement. We all have something we anticipate…marriage, promotions, vacations, birthdays, retirement, empty nests, weekends, sleep, or 5:00! From this list, I surely have multiple! We all do.
However, I have found that chasing lasting happiness is similar to looking for gold at the end of the rainbow. The excitement and anticipation of temporary events often leaves me in a trap. After it happens, I start looking forward to the next thing…the next “when”.
How many times do you start your Monday with your mind on Friday? How many times do you end a vacation already thinking about when your next getaway will happen? The when-then trap is being ok with a misery mindset until you reach temporary relief in a future event. It comes and then it goes! This cycle of “struggle and reward” is known as the When-Then Trap!
The problem with the When-Then Trap is a lack of appreciation, contentment, and identity of the present. True satisfaction is found in appreciation of the struggle, the grind, and the journey.
“If we aren’t counting our blessings in the present, we are on a treadmill that leads to nowhere”.
So many people are stuck in jobs to chase status, make more money and achievements, but are absolutely miserable with the work or their corporate culture. There are many variables to workplace frustrations, but I believe many workers are being seduced by the success standards of this world.
The world often measures success through grades, salaries, titles, rewards, letters after our names, size of the home, bank account, types of vehicles, and even our looks…all which sends us into a spiral of chasing to be on the A-List: acceptance, accumulation, accolades, aspirations, accomplishments, and achievements.
Who doesn’t like being on the A-List? However, the world has distorted the meanings behind these words:
- Chasing acceptance can easily be canceled when being authentic.
- Chasing accumulation steals joy and time with family, friends, and neighbors.
- Chasing accolades tends to make big heads.
- Chasing ambition is often targeted on self and not serving others.
- Chasing aspirations of the world takes our mind off eternal aspirations.
- Chasing accomplishments creates false identity and not in God.
- Chasing achievement is a ladder that never ends.
Receiving validation, achieving greatness, and making an impact on the world through success is certainly not bad. However looking for identity and validation by the measures of this world (making the A-List) often ends in great disappointment.
The Great Resignation is a key indicator of an awakening that is happening in the workforce as employees reevaluate their purpose, value, and ultimately…their happiness. However, I cringe as those that are rotating jobs may very well be still stuck in the when-then trap looking for success and validation in all the wrong places. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
Above anything, I believe our ambitions should be rooted in chasing the attitude of gratitude. Yes, there is a struggle and hardship to life, as God never promised that our work or lives would be easy. Paul quoted in Philippians 4:11-14 (NLT). Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Life Applications
To find joy, peace, happiness, and contentment, don’t look towards the future or the past or the “whens” and the “thens”. Be present in the now and enjoy the journey. Find the contentment when dreams fail or when you succeed. Put priorities on serving others and glorifying God. Journal daily about your own journey as a student of life with an attitude of gratitude . Most importantly, avoid the trap of putting hope in the future, when there is so much joy and lessons to be learned in the present.
Here are a few passages from the Bible that speaks to chasing the when (and the wind).
Ecclesiastes 2: 24-25 (NLT) So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God. For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from him? God gives wisdom, knowledge, and joy to those who please him. But if a sinner becomes wealthy, God takes the wealth away and gives it to those who please him. This, too, is meaningless—like chasing the wind.
Ecclesiastes 6:9 (NLT) Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless—like chasing the wind.
1 Timothy 6:6-10 (NLT) Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.
Mark 8: 34-36 (NLT) Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he (Jesus) said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?
1 John 2:15-17 (NLT) Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.
Lastly, it is good to enjoy our lives and to anticipate future events. In turn, as we find pleasure and appreciation in our work, we should look forward to rest and rejuvenation. We should do all of this to glorify God, not ourselves or our wallets! The When-Then that we should chase is founded on the ultimate hope in the resurrection of saints and finding everlasting life in Heaven!
1 Thessalonians 4: 17-18 (NLT) Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words.
