Most people aspire to be better, to do better, or to look better! At the start of every New Year, we all use this introspective time marker to become a better version of ourselves! Sadly, this desire to grow presents a wide array of resolutions and personal goals that are frequently short-lived and dies out before January ever ends. Out of all the types of resolutions people make, nearly 50% of all resolutions fall into the category of being healthier or losing weight. According to a 2018 study on New Year’s resolutions, only 4% of Americans stick to their resolutions for the entire year!
This is a staggering statistic that is an underlying reason why we are seeing increased chronic sickness, obesity, and mental health disease in this country. We continue to rise and grind at an unhealthy pace and continue to ignore our boundaries. We mindlessly choose to sacrifice our daily self-care habits such as quality sleep, time unattached to our screens, cooking healthy meals, going for walks, uninterrupted time with our spouse or kids, or having our own quiet time. All of these are the baseline of healthy habits that should be practiced daily. It’s no wonder we start every year wanting to fix what busyness is killing….our time to have a healthier life!
We are too distracted trying to achieve while ignoring wellness practices that will sustain us.
The irony of our inability to sustain new healthy habits isn’t lost on me. We are innate habitual people at the core. Every day is unique, however, our movements, choices, and thoughts are relatively the same. We eat the same foods, we eat at the same times, we sleep on the same side of the bed, we buy the same groceries at the same stores, we listen to the same music, we watch the same shows, we stick to the same clothing brands, we fall into the same coping mechanisms, we call/text the same friends, we reach for our phones when pinged or even when it doesn’t ping…the list goes on and on! Knowing we are creatures of habit, how is it that 96% of Americans struggle with making new healthy habits?
Five reasons goals fail
- Too many goals at once
- Too busy and distracted
- Too hard and unrealistic
- Lacks joy and fun
- Reliance on willpower
Now that we have defined the barriers to healthy habits, let’s dig into how to defeat these enemies. If you have already thrown in the towel on your New Year’s Resolutions, I challenge you to start over again with a new perspective and techniques. I would like to present you with the “healthiest M&M’s” you can ever digest!
Meaningful Motivation: Before you decide on any goal, it’s extremely important to know your why. What is at the root of your goal and why is it important? Is it a matter of life or death? What happens if you don’t meet that goal, this year or forever? Pondering on the purpose will lead you to a level of seriousness that should be the driver of any life aspiration.
Mindset: Very few people will go into a game wanting to lose it. So shifting your mentality to a positive and winning attitude is key to sustainability. Surround yourself with individuals who will hold you accountable, boost your esteem or possibly seek out a professional coach.
Mark and Map: Assess the baseline of where you’re currently at and physically set your starting line. If you’re wanting to lose weight, be sure to write it down, make it visible, and document what success looks like. Give this to your accountability partner(s). Pearson’s Law applies here which says: “what gets measured improves”.
Minor Milestones: Most goals lack detailed plans. A cold-turkey approach based on willpower rarely works. Being ambiguous on lofty goals is the quickest path to failure. As soon as the scale moves in the wrong direction, we quit. The key to achieving you aspire to set minor milestones along the way that can be recognized and celebrated. In other words, make 30 goals of losing 1 pound per week instead of one goal of losing 30 pounds.
Minimize to Make Margin: Part of planning requires decluttering your calendar and to-do list. To take on new goals, it is imperative to release something else that could be blocking your time or attention to progress. Build margin by time blocking your calendar, removing unnecessary appointments or activities, or saying no to something that just doesn’t work for you.
Meaningful Motion on Monday: Putting anything into motion is the easiest step, but as mentioned above, planning, researching, outlining, and commitment are key before taking action. Understanding that it’s human nature to start new goals on Mondays, (aka, the Fresh Start Affect), look at Monday as a momentous time to start your new plan. If not Monday, look at other “calendar landmarks” such as your birthday, anniversary of a significant life event, or a national holiday…just make sure it’s a date that is meaningful.
Maintain Movement: Now that you are in motion, consistency is key. Knowing that setbacks happen, but sure you are doing one little thing per day for at least the first 3 weeks. One way to keep progressing is to put visual cues into place that remove any thought of having to make a choice…this helps the choices of your pre-frontal cortex move to the habitual part of your brain. So set up physical and visual cues like sleeping in your workout gear or putting your running shoes by the door. This also means removing and hiding your triggers, vices, and coping mechanisms.
Motivation: If you are continuing to stumble or have setbacks, maybe this is a place where you can build a new reward system. Gratification and dopamine go hand in hand. Closing the circles on your iPhone rings is the same as getting a glass of wine after a hard day…both trigger a compulsive reward in your brain. Build a new reward system of healthy substitutions that fortifies your goals and brings an element of joy to your journey.
Mastery in your Momentum: If you have made it to this point in the implementation of your goals, you are probably experiencing some momentum. However, don’t let boredom derail you. If you have more than one goal on your list, this is where you have the opportunity to start stacking new goals on top of ones that are already moving. This also works for starting a new habit on top of behavior that you already do. For instance, if you are running and desire to read more books…start listening to an audiobook while you run.
Measure: Last but certainly not least is to measure your success. The key is not to get caught up in measuring results daily as this can slow your momentum if you aren’t seeing big results. Specifically for health-related goals, wait at least 3 weeks before doing your analysis on progress. The bigger result you see on the scale, the more motivated you will be to continue forward. Don’t miss out on the moment to celebrate!
If your resolution or new goal is not working out, don’t wait until next year to start over. Choose a meaningful date on the calendar and try again. Make up your mind that there is another way and that a small shift may be needed instead of an attitude of defeat. Go into planning mode before you restart.
Lastly, give yourself grace as no one is perfect. Setbacks always happen. We all are prone to fail, but this is where we learn…and then we grow.