For the first time in my professional career, I decided to start the New Year on vacation! As a recovering workaholic and someone that has experienced personal and professional burnout in recent years, my number one goal for 2022 is to make REST my top priority. No fad diet plans, no step challenges, and no striving for promotions.
So why make rest a top priority? First of all, let me tell you my definition of “rest”. It does not mean laziness. It also doesn’t mean laying around on the couch and catching up on Netflix. Rest is a state of mind that is the opposite of STRESS. A state of rest means that my blood pressure and heartbeat are at their lowest and I’m experiencing a refueling of energy that will able my body, mind, and spirit to keep going stronger and longer. Being in a state of rest is not influenced by external circumstances. Unfortunately, we are living in a society that is full of stressed-out people, edged on by media, politics, and technology.
What is not frequently reported, is that chronic emotional stress is foundational to many physical and mental diseases that tear down the immune system. Though some bodily acute stressors are unavoidable and necessary for fighting injury and infection by nature, the type of chronic stress that is burning throughout our society is emotional.
Four of the most disastrous recipes to emotional stress are living in a state of constant anxiety, flying off the handle in angry fits, fearing the worst at every turn, and performing work on constant overdrive 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Every person on this globe struggles with at least one of these characteristics as this is human nature to have a response to external circumstances. Add some more ingredients like overcrowded scheduling, poor time/energy management, poor sleep, bad eating habits, toxic people, alcohol and substance abuse, and unhealthy coping + doping mechanisms; you now have a formula for burnout, or even worse, death.
Chronic stress leads to a poor quality of living that will steal your joy, steal your time, and steal your life.
But don’t lose hope if any of this negativity is resonating. Stress is bound to happen every day and it takes daily intentionality to overcome the toxicity of the stressors. To defeat chronic stress, it takes changing the mindset and reducing the speed at which you should approach life. Yes, everyone has different speeds and capacity levels, so the slow lane will look different for every person. With that being said, everyone has a slower lane that can be tapped into to live a fuller and more beautiful life.
Though there is an infinite list of ways to destress, I’ve attempted to outline my top 20 that have continuedly worked.
- Audit your external stressors and carefully edit or eliminate them. Edit means to proactively change how you respond to people in your life. This could be a boss or your “terrible” two-year-old. Eliminate are for things you have more control over such as unnecessary tasks on the to-do list or useless meetings.
- Walk, don’t run! If you work out constantly, choose to go for a walk instead of running or getting on your Peloton. Too much exercise can be detrimental to your health. If you aren’t moving at all, it’s probably time to institute a daily walking schedule. Don’t forget to stretch!
- Lose your alarm clock, especially if you work from home. Be sure to also go to bed at an appropriate time to make sure you’re not missing your morning commitments.
- Turn off your phone and/or alerts before dinner and don’t turn it on until after your morning quiet time. This helps you be more present with your family. Within reason, utilize the features on your phone for “airplane mode exceptions” if you have to be accountable to work or family after hours. The goal is to be less distracted, less attached, and more present.
- Have an untimed quiet time. Use this time to pray and meditate on the goodness of God, seeking out his purpose for your life daily with the assistance of the Holy Spirit, and reading your bible so you can hear His instructions. Choosing to live in step with the Holy Spirit will generate the fruits of the spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control. (Galatians 5: 22-25)
- Watch the sunrise and the sunset! This is not only a beautiful thing to witness, but it also resets and calibrates your circadian rhythm and provides a mechanism for getting better quality sleep.
- Cook your meals and reduce the amount of take-out and drive-throughs. Make your lunch and don’t eat it in front of your computer.
- Go for another walk. Don’t let the morning exercise be your only movement for the day. Continuing to move your body in natural daylight has lifelong benefits as well as resetting your mind and energy for your afternoon projects.
- Cut the cable. News, commercials, and the current age of shows are typically full of anxiety, violence, corruptness, and endless noise. Cutting the cable doesn’t mean getting rid of the TV, but it gives you the ownership of choosing appropriate content on your terms and a healthy diet of entertainment that satisfies you.
- Use all of your PTO. Schedule your PTO for the full year. When you are on vacation, go dark and stop responding to projects and emails that can be temporarily delegated to someone else. The world will continue to revolve while you reset. My recommendation is to block your calendar the day before vacation and the day you return from vacation to appropriately ease out and ease in.
- Breathe deeply. Take moments to do breathing exercises at least twice a day. This helps reduce inflammation, and stress, and lowers your heart rate. Breathing exercises also help when you are having conflict with a colleague or a loved one, by not having angry or snippety responses. As I tell my 3-year-old and reciting Daniel Tiger, “take a deep breath and count to 4!”
- Take a 20-minute nap before 3 PM. Naps are healthy and not a sign of laziness. It’s a tool for recharging, being more creative, and improving memorization and focus. This is when you should set an alarm as a longer unmonitored nap can have adverse effects. Carve out 30 minutes on your calendar to make sure you can squeeze this in, especially if you tend to drag it after lunch.
- Take a Sabbath every week. This can be any day you choose, but when you do, plan it for the entire family. The sabbath is biblical and it models our creator who enjoyed and celebrated the fruits of His labor: Genesis 2:2-3 says: “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.”
- Get a dog! This tip deserves its own article! If you already have a dog or have had one, you understand the benefits. Though most pets deserve a lot of responsibility, the benefits are overwhelmingly healthy. Laughter long walks, warm greetings, napping together…just to name a few.
- Laugh daily. An article published in the Scientific American provides an astonishing study on the links between laughing and living longer! I believe Patch Adams got it right! Find your daily dose of laughter, play, and muse.
- Dance, sing, or listen to music. Along the same lines as laughing, having a playlist ready and available for when you’re hitting your red zone is an instant remedy to calming the nerves. If you can’t sing, at least pat your foot or cut a step…who cares who’s looking!
- Read a chapter of a book daily. Choose to be a lifelong learner and continue to chase your interests. Reading a good book can be an escape from the daily hustle and bustle. If you can handle two books at once, let the morning read be for your intellectual stimulation and your evening reading for pleasure. If you have young kids in your home, find time and the joy to read to them.
- Give time to others. This can be hosting a neighbor for dinner, calling a friend who needs help, or volunteering for a local non-profit. If you have a gift or just the gift of time, use your resources for paying it forward and being in the community. One illustration I would challenge you to reflect on is the Parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37 when Christ responds to a lawyer’s question “who is my neighbor”? Two of the three men in the parable were in the fast lane of life and too busy to help a robbed man left half dead by robbers. The third man, the Good Samaritan, had his priorities in order and helped the man wholeheartedly.
- Go Easy! Be forgiving to yourself and others…this is called GRACE. No one is perfect. Choose love!
- Make Space! Here is a link to a recent article I released on how to Declutter Your Calendar and make a margin to do ALL the above…it’s worth it!
We were created to not only work and steward God’s creation, but we were also designed to LIVE by serving, worshiping, resting, and celebrating!
If you’re inspired to try out living life in the slow lane and combat your stress, be sure to stop frequently, show grace, serve well, and pray always. Choose to start everything from a state of rest and intentionally pace your daily commitments…this is a formula for longevity and the opportunity to please God more.
One last scriptural reference that I would like to leave you with is in Matthew 11:28-30 where Jesus provides a sacred promise to those that are burdened by work and life, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
If you are weary, (i.e. burned out), there is still time to get out of the HOV lane and find the pace that best works for you.